To be, or not to be (a slut)

Standard

If I were to describe myself, one of the first things I’d tell you is that I’m passionate. It’s readily apparent in my in the way I live my life, the way it flows through my speech. It comes through in my touch, my gestures… lingers in my kiss. I’d tell you I’m a fiercely loyal person, one who is extremely protective of friends and family. As small as I tend to keep my circle, there’s not a whole lot I wouldn’t do for those in my life.

I could go on. I could touch on the fact that I’m quietly introspective, the silent watcher when in a large group. I love my sarcastic and self-deprecating sense of humour. I adore fast cars and white truffle anything. I’m partial to occasionally rocking a pair of  handcuffs as a bracelet. I’m not ashamed to admit I like to boost my self-confidence by sometimes wandering around my house in lingerie. My idea of the perfect lazy Sunday involves sleeping in, the perfect skinny latte, and a few rounds of sex.

In a list of personality traits, and bits about who I am, chances are, the last 3 sentences in the above paragraph are what will stand out for many. Opinions will vary. Some will shrug and move on. Some may take it as information about which they can fantasize. Far more than I’d care to admit, may opt to brand me a slut.

America has a long tradition of sexual schizophrenia. Slut Walk? We call it women’s sexual liberation. Impeach a President of the United States for lying about a blowjob? Many considered it the right thing to do. The woman involved in the scandal will forever be branded the whore blew the President in the Oval Office. A Current presidential candidate/family values crusader (& strong supporter of said impeachment), has no problems cheating on wife #1 with wife #2… and let’s not forget his leaving wife #2 for wife #3.

It’s easy to brush off comments by Rush Limbaugh and Patricia Heaton as simply being that two crazy celebs who are hungry for attention and press. The the heart of the matter is not nearly that simple. Society is content to debate sex in terms of purity vs. perversion, Madonna vs. Whore, an ongoing, modern-day battle of good vs. evil. Those who advocate sexual freedom, try to shift perception from political agenda to reality are ridiculed. If one embraces sexuality as being a natural, and yes, enjoyable, part of life, they are demonized, marginalized, and they’re female? They’re still thought of as a slut; a whore who deserves to be punished for her sexual enjoyment and satisfaction.

And to that I take great offense.

Sex is not something I have any desire to use to gain power over another human being. I don’t seek it as proof that I am desirable to the opposite sex, nor do I wield it as a weapon. Sex is an expression. A piece of me. Intimate. Raw. Honest. Tender. Life-affirming.

The number of partners I’ve had, who they are, the intimate details, are irrelevant… and as a generally private person, even the bit of personal information I have included is admittedly uncomfortable and rather unsettling for me. Yet I don’t want to hide. If I take offense to an issue, yet suffer quietly because it’s ‘what nice girls do‘, I become part of the problem.

At the end of the day, I am who I am. If you choose to define me as a whore, I can’t stop you. I will not apologize. I won’t hide. And more than anything, I will be comfortable in my skin.

Advertisements

Say What?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s